The easiest way to describe ‘what is a prayer’ is talking with God. But how do you actually talk to God? Some people talk to God in tongue. Some people using a poetic language in their pray.
I always enjoy group praying and some one lead the pray in tongue or poetic language. However, I just feel like I don’t belong to the group prayer when it’s my turn to lead the pray. Honestly, I just feel I’m not appropriate to say the prayer. I don’t speak in tongue; I can compose a poetic pray. In addition, I’m not used to say my prayer out loud. I used to say my prayer in silent. To make thing worse, I tends to forget what I really want to say to my God when I have to say my prayer out loud.
When I’m say my prayer, I just say what I have in mind and simple. My choice of word is always simple. Even back to the school days when I had to compose some story for home work, the language I had is always simple. But now in a group full of adults, my prayer sounds like kids prayer (from my point of view). This is really what I feel because my student at Sunday school can say a better pray in words. But does God really care if someone just able to say a short pray once in a time frequently and while other can pray for hours?
I don’t really now whether I have it right. However when I say my prayer, I always imagine that God as my heavenly father is sitting just in front of me and listening to me. So I can chat with him with all the things I want. Since He is the father, so I have to chat with him politely (even I still used daily conversation and informal language), just like the way I’m talking with my father.
The problem is sometime (or often) I just get my mind distracted by other things when I’m talking with God. It is just the same with my daily chat with other people. Sometime my mind gets distracted with other things. My mind is kind of thinking about other things or trying to make a ‘multitasking’ schedule. So, I usually have a long pray in the morning when my mind is still fresh and I still don’t get any to be distracted about (I don’t have to plan my schedule in the morning). During the day, I just say a little bit pray like praise, thank you, or asking some quick question. As I said before, it just like the way I always send a short sms message to my family during the day.
Another problem for me is I just can’t have a very long prayer. I’m not the type to talk much or having a long conversation even with my family or relative. When I say thank you, I can’t describe it in details. Same like when I have trouble, I just say I have trouble. It’s always that simple and God know me by heart. I trust Him for His judgment and decision.
I also usually have a little talk with God during some activity. When dressing for work, during the trip to work, etc. I don’t know whether it is good or not, it seemed like I try to squeeze pray to my schedule instead of trying to change my schedule so I can have more time to pray. However, when I’m doing this, I can concentrate better to talk to God because I already have other thing to be ‘multitasked’ about.
Another thing I find out about talking with God is I can speak with him by writing. It’s really like chatting via yahoo messenger actually. We type in something and wait for some replay from God. Now actually this is the best way for me to talk to God, it keeps me concentrated and not distracted to other things. It easier as well to tell God what I think, what I learned, what I feel by type it down because it’s like writing a letter to Him. And I can have a really long conversation with Him. Here come the problem is I always have to my computer ready so I can chat, I also don’t always have the time to write.
Finally the bottom line is I still have to learn to talk to God out loud and concentrated more when I’m praying. I also have to change my schedule so I can have more time to pray instead of try to multitask it with other activity I’ve done.
This is the verse that I used to quote for myself when I feel down because I can say a long pray or say a pray in poetic language.
“Lagipula dalam doamu itu janganlah kamu bertele-tele seperti kebiasaan orang yang tidak mengenal Allah. Mereka menyangka bawah karena banyaknya kata-kata doanya akan dikabulkan. Jadi janganlah kamu seperti mereka, karena Bapamu mengetahui apa yang kamu perlukan sebelum kamu minta kepada-Nya” Matius 6:7-8
Please note that I don’t say other people who pray for hours and can say a poetic pray is wrong. It is all ok as long as people do it for God and they already have close to relation with the God. The useless part is when we say long pray without understanding who we are praying to or about.
(Senin, 10 Desember 2007)