It has been quite a long time since the last time I wrote You a letter. It’s not a good thing though, because I can express my feeling and my thought easily when I’m writing You a letter. I can talk longer with you then in daily prayer. But it just seems that I always don’t have enough time to wrote to You. Sometimes it hard to find a quite place and time where Ijust can be still and talk to You undisturbed.
God, may I ask You one question? Why it easier for me to concentrated more and talk to You longer when I’m writing it down. When I pray the usual way – cross finger and close my eyes – the longest record is 30 minutes then my mind get distracted by other things and I just can’t concentrated anymore.
Today, as I “trapped” alone (well, God, its not really trapped, it is just that I cann’t go home since all access to home is flooded) because of this heavy rain and flodd, I finally find my place and time to have my private conversation with You. The one thing I don’t like in this private moment is I don’t have my PC or laptop with me., which means I have to type this again later (and also means I have to find another private time to type this again).
God, first of all , I want to thank You for what You’ve done today. You help me to lift up my ‘blue’ mood. You help me to realize again thay You care for me. You even help me to find this private moment to talk/write with You. You help me to book this hotel room. And so many other things that You have done today.
Then, although I know that You already knew it before, I still want to tell You that will be tested for volunteer Englist translator. Please help me pass this test God. You know I always want to be freelancer translator so that I could always practice my English and serve You more. I also get 2 email addreses for applying as freelance English translator in BPK Gunung Mulia and Gramedia.
God, I also want to be more selfish today. I want to talk about me … because I want have enough time to talk about other things. I have my full list and worries with me. But before that, I also want to apologize to You because today I’m not a good Christian worker. I didn’t set a good examle for others to follow me. I worried much about the flood and how I can go home. I ignore my work task and responsible. This way, what the difference between me and other worker who doesn’t know You yet.
And I want to ask You my basic question. When do You plan for me to met my ‘Adam’? I wait and I pray, then I just realize that I was single for 25 years of my life. I never fall in love. Is it a good sign from You? God, I want to get married while I’m 25 years old. I want to have baby and give grand children to my parents while they still have the health and spirit to play with them. And I want to get married so they will not havt to worry about daughters any more. I want to have a husband that love You and follower of Your word. We must have the same faith. A husband that can be the head of the family. In summary, I want a husband like Sie Chang in “All About Eve” or Kai in “Yokohama”. Well, it doesn’t have to be that rich like them. I just want enough for me to be just house wife like my mom. And enough to take care when some one is sick and need “expensive’ medical treatment ….
I’m so sleepy now, so i will finish this letter now. Thank You God for hearing me. Good night.
( 1 Feb 2008, 23.00 – Hotel Mulia Senayan room 1731 – heavy rain and flood in Jakarta )